Grief is funny

Grief is funny 

It’s a passing thought 

A quick glance at a fact

A person no longer here with us 

Something that only comes up during your hard days. 

But then when you see something they once loved. 

A simple milk chocolate powder.

Staring at me

In the grocery store 

Those 2 boys 

Their faces forever belonged on her kitchen table 

How lucky they must have been to be present in that kitchen every day. 

How sad they must have felt when the strength in her fingers slowly deteriorated each time she removed the lid. 

I remember being younger looking for that specific version of that container in each store. 

We waited to buy it and bring it into our home. 

To feel closer to her

But alas it never arrived 

Until 5 years later. 

When those 2 boys are staring right back at me. 

But I just stare at it.

 Remembering her love, her generosity, her gentle touch. 

Her words of love.

Her determination to communicate with her grandchildren. 

Even if the language was tough for her. 

The collective effort she put into each meal. 

Her open-toed shoes. 

The sheer glittering polish on her nails 

Her perfectly placed eyebrows 

Sharp with purple eyeliner 

Her dyed hair. 

Set in place like all the photos around. 

But I’ll never see that again. 

Taking stuff for granted is universal 

Her love was universal 

With a knot in my throat, I felt myself choking up

Don’t cry I remind myself 

Hold back the tears 

It’s okay but 

In the grocery store, I never felt as close and distant to her than right now.

Grief is funny.